In sessions with my clients, as well as, some of my friends going through difficult relationship transitions, I continually emphasize the crucial importance of falling in love with yourself...
I talk about getting to know yourself and coming into a place of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for yourself. This is not easy for most and frankly quite foreign like I’m speaking a language from a far distant planet!

Why?

Because we, as a human collective, have blocked off our heart - for a very long time.

We’ve blocked it off because, at different points in time, we determined love wasn’t safe. Love was scary. Love hurt. Love was weak. Love was vulnerable. Love was fake.

Parents could have told us they loved us in one minute, then the next jolted us with a hand slapping remark - mentally and or physically. Yes, these remarks made a mark! Each time something like this happened from parents, teachers, kids at school, another layer went up around the heart.

Haven’t we all said at one point in our life, “That’s it, I’m done. I won’t let them hurt me. I’ll show them. Never again will I let someone….” Then, the walls went up, and our heart hardened. The problem is, it has hardened us too. This is where self-sabotage, self-hate, and self-judgment comes in. We’ve shut off our hearts so we won’t get hurt ‘out there.’ The bigger issue is, we’ve shut off our hearts to ourselves as well.

The way back?

The way back is first to realize this and not beat ourselves up about it. We first take gentle, compassionate ownership that we closed off our heart to others because it wasn’t safe.

It wasn’t safe at the time…You were protecting yourself at a time when you didn’t know any other way.

This is normal. We have ALL done this! Once we can own this, we can then come into a new place.

We soften a bit. We take a deep sigh, a deep breath. We let go for a moment. Closing our eyes, going into our heart for the first time in a long, long time.

For many, it may feel very unnerving. It may feel scary, empty, and alone. Anger comes up. This is normal. This is ok. This is good!

All of these feelings have been walled off by your protective layers. To get back to the love of yourself, you have to melt the walls that you placed... to not feel.

Initially, the scariest part of loving yourself again is feeling all of your feelings, especially those feelings that were too painful and not safe to express ‘at that time.’

It is safe for them to come forth now. It is safe. Express them to YOU. Acknowledge your feelings to you and be the parent and best friend for yourself now, that you didn’t have back then.

YOU be there for YOU.

Strange physical symptoms may begin to arise. You may feel pressure in your heart/chest, heart palpitations, and fluttering. This is normal as you open up your heart to yourself again. It’s like your heart has been in hibernation and is waking up after a long, long, long winter slumber. Again, this can be unnerving and scary. This is normal and means you’re on the right path!

Many emotions will arise...

Let. Them. Rise.

And you may cry. Good!

And you may yell. Good!

And you may feel sadness and grief. Good!

You can’t have sadness and grief if you don’t love!

You’re feeling the love of yourself again, as you feel again!

What’s so amazing about allowing yourself to open up your heart to yourself again, and feeling this love that has been so longing to be there for you is…
You’ll feel stronger. You’ll feel more confident. More grounded. More powerful. You will set better boundaries. You will do what feels good to you. You will not settle for what doesn’t.

And then you have this aha moment!

Love is not weak at all.

Love is power, and it becomes your Superpower.

XO, Linda
Linda Anderson, Co-founder | JOY Undiluted